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10 factors to consider before approaching a girl

Approaching a girl;

Building the confidence to approach a beautiful lady at a party, event, outing or bar. It a topic that has been discussed a lot may be in a magazine, youtube videos, articles, blog post etc. but the problem with most of them is that they make it seem to be complicated. To be frank approaching a girl is not complicated either is it a “do or die game”.

approaching a girl

Here are the ten factors to consider when approaching a girl:

  1. Try to be chill: Please when approaching a girl try your best to be cool, be calm, and be collected. Do not be nervous. Come to think of it, someone you do not know approached you for one thing or the other and is nervous. It looks foolish and stupid. I know all you will expect the person to be calm, cool and not being nervous. So if you want to approach a lady successful try be cool, calm and collected.

Note: “If you are approaching a girl that you do not know in the public, you can pretend to be an old friend or her in order not to be nervous”.

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approaching a girl

  1. Ditch the pickup lines: Now it is totally understandable that you will be nervous when approaching a girl you do not know. Please reduce the urge to give the chizz, eye rolling because that might be ridiculous along the line. You should be focused, go straight to the point. Get to know her organically. You just need to approach her with all honesty and originality. And if she likes you, she will actually accept you. Try to stay away from the pickup lines because that will not take you far.
  2. Read the room: This means that you should pay attention what is happening around her, what she is doing and her personal interest at that moment. If she is someone who is chatting on her phone? Chatting with someone else? Probably may have a laptop in front of her doing some work. You are not advised to approach her at that very moment. It is believed that the key to flotation in any discussion is timing. And if you get the timing wrong your can completely blow things out of work. Try to know if she is happy or sad, if she has a welcoming face or a moody face (bitch resting face that says don’t approach me). It is very important that you pay attention in what is happening in her immediate environment, to able to time yourself appropriately. This will increase your chances of success.
  3. Try to check her body language: Try to know if her body language if it is positive inviting cues. You should not ignore if a woman looks like she is not approachable. Some women looks genuinely unapproachable while most do not. There is open body language and close body language. She may be sitting with her hands fold that might be a cue she is not ready to engage anybody. But if she is smiling a lot, looking around the room, party or event the chance is that she wants to be approached by someone. It implies that she is magically inviting someone to her. Read her body language accurately to avoid making a fool of you. With this you can also know if she wants to slide into a conservation or not and whether to stop or continue with the conversation.

If she is actually smiling back at you, engaging you and replying you in a polite manner that is a green light you should continue with the conservation. If not polite excuse yourself and leave her to avoid being fooled.


  1. Check your own body language: It is important that you get your own body language right. I have heard people say when you want to approach a girl. Approach a girl from a side, is supposed to head on. Because head on could be quite intimidating depending on the kind of person you are; how you look, how tall you are etc. So you want to catch her up by surprise from a side. But do not scare her because if she turns around and looks into a face she does not know she might end up screaming. And you must not like that. So gently approach her from an angle positioned to support head on. And remember it is important to be confident when approaching her. It lies not only just on what you say but how you behave, how you act as well.  But be sure of making eye contact when talking to her. Keep your eye focused on her but not in an intimidating way. Giving her a warm smile and with your eyes too.
  2. Keep your stakes low: There is a saying that says cut your cloth according to your size. And this I mean they are women above your status, below your status and also equal to your status. So I plead you maintain your league to avoid being fooled. Trust me they are other girls out there who will love and cherish your status, who will play in your league. So size her up, find out if she is the kind of girl you can potentially or confidently approach.
  3. Don’t ask for her phone number: At least not right away. Yes her phone numbers is important for follow up and reach out to her. Now doing something like that tells the girl that you are leaving the ball in their court. Which means if she will like to probably see you again or not? Putting her to say NO to you when she refuses to give you her number. Or give you her phone number and probably ignore you calls. Please do not ask for her phone number but give her your phone number. If she never reaches out, she was never interested. And trust me it saves you a lot of time.
  4. Pay attention to negative non-verbal cues: Imagine you approaching a girl, trying to start up a conversation and she was busy on her phone, being moody or barely answer your questions. Take a cue she may not be able say it but her body language will say. So try to pay enough attention to her body language, that will straight away say am not interested.
  5. Be comfortable with rejection: I have seen a situation more than once, when a man approached a girl and everything changes to the point the girl was shouting at the man. And please do not fear rejection. If you fear rejection you will never have the opportunity to actually experience life. Rejection is a normal part of life even I businesses, schools, jobs and many others.
  6. Respect her time: Yes you have approached her, she is laughing all night, she is nice with you, and she seems to love your conversation. But you should always leave her wanting more of you. You can chat with her 15 to 20 minutes and stop, drop your phone number and let her want more of you if she is interested you. For an instance you can tell her I will not take much of your time, but you can contact me then drop your phone number.


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